Whatchu Talkin' About Harper??

Well everyone, it's time to put the final dagger into the Harper campaign by recapping everything that the Cons stand for.

Corruption:
The Cons will not stand idly by and let the Liberals get the upper hand in the corruption market. If they get elected, they will make everyone forget about the small amount of corruption that they did by creating a whole new, dark, evil corruption that will cause the apocalypse and end the world.

Budget:
The Cons will cut all of the social spending and give all of the money to the richest people in the country so they can buy a new ivory backscratcher.

Human Rights:
The Cons will remove all human rights from everyone and force them to work for the major companies as slaves without any protection from the environment and control breeding so they only breed the largest, dumbest people to keep their iron rule. They will also put every non-christian into camps to keep them away from the "pure" people and cause several "accidents" to weed out the population

Environment:
The Cons will chop down all the trees, remove all environmental controls on business, sell all our oil and water to the US and stand on top of parliament hill with CFC aerosol cans and spray them upwards just for good measure.

Foreign Policy:
The Cons will sell Canada to the US for beads and blankets filled with small pox. The small pox will not do anything as it has been immunized in Canada, but in a few years, all new children will be killed as they have not been immunized. They will also tell every country that does not believe in christianity that they are all heathens and they will all die by the hand of god. This will cause a backlash from every other religion and everyone will nuke Canada, thus leaving it a smoldering ruin.

Crime:
The Cons will implement the one strike and you're dead policy, which is quite self-explanatory. If you commit any crime, you get hanged. Now you might say that capital punishment is illegal, but when you rule, you make the rules.

Native Rights:
Standard Con job that they used for the last 139 years.

Employment:
If you want a job, you must move to Alberta, the oil reserves will last forever.

Quebec:
Ship all French speaking Canadians to France, cause boat "accident", problem solved.

Immigration:
Allow anyone with money to come in, take the money of all the non-white christians, and send rest to camps.

Now, one or two of these may be an exaggeration, but I don't live in the past so I won't read them again and correct them. The message from me is this, unless you are an extreme right-wing white male christian, vote Liberal or else you will die a horrible, painful death.