The Royal Order of Stupid

Stephen Harper has announced his cabinet for his 6 months in office as Prime Minister and I have made my triumphant return to blogging by critiquing the members he chose in alphabetical order:

Rona Ambrose-Minister of the Environment: The woman who stood up in parliament and attacked Canadian Hero Ken Dryden in regards to the national child care program by insinuating that he was a sexist pig. She also managed to put back the woman’s movement 10 years because of that remark as it was sexist that only working women raise kids when there are plenty of single dads who would also need the child care program and men in general have a say in family issues. My question is why you would put somebody from Alberta who is a big supporter of the oil industry as Minister of the Environment....unless her job will be how to ruin it more.

John Baird-President of the Treasury Board: The guy who caused the workfare debacle in the Ontario government, made false claims about how many people got jobs from workfare, forced a rate hike on energy prices in Ontario, and refused to cancel a contract with a Bermuda based company that found a loophole to allow them to charge over $250/hour to upgrade the welfare systems computers. The only thing he does have going for him is his support for same sex marriage....but that really won't help him with overseeing government expenditures.

Maxime Bernier-Minister of Industry: No political experience whatsoever and not enough in the upper echelon of business to give him this prestigious of a title. Maybe in a few years...but not now.

Jean-Pierre Blackburn-Minister of Labour: Okay, they got one right. The perfect pick for the Minister of Labour

Lawrence Cannon-Minister of Transport: Good man, Great prestige, wrong party, wrong post. Should be Minister of Industry

Michael Chong-Queens Privy Council President, Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs, & Minister of Sports: Decent man, nothing wrong with him privately. Better suited for Heritage Minister or Citizen & Immigration Minister.

Tony Clement-Minister of Health: The man who FUCKED OVER OHIP, is now the Minister of Health for Canada. Kiss health care in Canada goodbye. The man cut pay of nurses so badly that they have to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet. They also cut spending to long term health care so prisoners in Ontario live better off then the elderly. Bravo....A guy who couldn't get elected in one riding, so he went into another riding where his wife's family is prominent to very narrowly get elected and destroyed health care in Ontario is now our Minister of Health which Harper wants to fix....by destroying it.

Stockwell Day-Minister of Public Safety & COMPLETE WACKJOB: Now the wackjob is not an official Parliamentary title but it's true. An ultra right-wing religious nutcase is now in charge of our safety. We will have a prayer shield to cover Canada in case of attack, Hang all prisoners, round up all the non Christians with planted vials of crack, and ban gays as being a national security risk. At least CSIS will be on the same brainwave with the guy.

David Emerson-Minister of International Trade: Good pick for the job. Hypocritical for picking him. Power hungry with no intention of ever giving it up at the expense of his constituency.

Diane Finley-Minister of Human Resources: She has worked for years to take away jobs from the government with their secure pay and great benefits and gave them to third party groups where money is the only answer...at least it will give her more work to do. This could only be topped by Hurricane Katrina being elected Mayor of New Orleans

Jim Flaherty-Minister of Finance: Make the rich richer, the poor poorer, then jail them for being homeless, cut funding to the prison system. Those are qualities I want to see in the guy who manages our countries finances. Stupid douche-bag. God, a man who helped make Ontario bankrupt (Bob Rae did a lot as well) is now in charge of our money.

Michael Fortier-Minister of Public Works: Accountability of Government, Making Senate Positions an Elected Position, Being Entitled to Their Entitlements...Fuck, you can go on forever on how this is wrong.

Loyola Hearn-Minister of Fisheries: He's from Newfoundland, how can you go wrong.

Marjory LeBreton-Leader of the Senate: Moderate, Great choice in a minority government.

Gary Lunn-Minister of Natural Resources: Relative nobody in politics even though this is his fourth term. Does realize Stockwell is crazy.

Peter Mackay-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Nothing all that wrong with the guy. Breaks up with his girlfriend because she supports another political party. Might have to go gay after the Conservative Party runs the country just to get some action. Still got an issue with his vote against child pornography laws

Rob Nicholson-House Leader: One of two MP's that have served in a Cabinet position before. Got ousted during Kim Campbell's minute of terror and couldn't get elected for 10 years until 2004. Could do a good job at leading the house...time will tell.

Gordon O'Connor-Minister of Defense: He was only a low level General in the military but better than anyone else they got. He was the brainchild for the cons military proposals during the election and we all know how well that is.

Bev Oda-Minister of Canadian Heritage: Good choice. Voted into the Canadian Broadcasters Hall of Fame.

Jim Prentice-Minister of Indian Affairs: First off, the title of this position should be changed to Minister of
Aboriginal Affairs. Secondly, I like the guy, he is a moderate who supports human rights and stood up against Concerned Christians Canada (The KKK for Gays)

Carol Skelton-Minister of Revenue: Poor choice. Should have got an accountant or at least a lawyer for this position....somebody who understands taxation.

Monte Solberg-Minister of Immigration: If you're gay, you're deported. If you're not Christian, you're deported...kinda odd with the whole Solberg name but you know....The guy is borderline mentally incapable of breathing. His campaign budget doesn't make sense in the whole fiscally plausible sense, has no economic education, and he thinks he did a good job, like FEMA or the war in Iraq.

Chuck Strahl-Minister of Agriculture: Better job for Carol Skelton. Should survive the six months till the next election. Should have been Minister of Health, would be more ironic.

Greg Thompson-Minister of Veteran Affairs: Won't enjoy the job for long as he will most likely be cut as it is purely a social spending position.

Vic Toews-Minister of Justice: Hiring a known criminal as your justice minister.....guess that works. Guy is a borderline nutcase who wants to put homosexuals into camps to get them out of the general population. Wait, if he reads this he will execute me.....Vic Toews is great. Good Guy.

There, got them all. Some good, some in wrong spots, most retarded. Fucking tired now....this took way too long.