Time To Blow Your Freakin' Mind

Okay, I know that this is supposed to be a political blog, but I came up with something so unbelievably mind blowing, I just had to share it. What I came up with is the Maligec theory of the Universe and The Maligec Theory of Evolution. Now, I don't have a degree, but my theories actually make a lot of sense and follow all laws of physics and nature. Now, without further adieu, here is my world premier of my theories.

We have all been striving to answer the age old question of life, the universe and everything. Heck, there was even a book that's premise revolved around that question. Yes it was The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, but the question was there. Today, I have come up with a theory that will be able to prove the age old question of how it all started and how we got to where we are today.

First off I will start with how the universe was created. The universe has both a yin and a yang. Life and death, light and dark, good and evil. Elementary physics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. Now, this works in all scenarios except one, Black Holes. Black holes do have a polar opposite in a white hole which instead of sucking all matter and energy, shoots out matter and energy from its vortex. Now, if you place physics into explaining a black hole, the massive gravity well will suck in matter energy, and time but it does not transfer the energy anywhere. My theory is that black holes actually store everything it sucks in and stores it inside of itself. As a black hole accumulates matter and energy it slowly fills up in subspace. Now, once a black hole reaches critical mass, it would explode and expel all of its contents into normal space. This would be like eating way too much and eventually throwing up all the contents of your stomach. This would happen on a continual basis of binging and purging. Turning black holes into white holes, creating new black holes which in turn would create new white holes and the cycle would continue forever. The universe was always here, just in different forms. This theory also follows every aspect of physics and our understanding of the universe. This cycle would take trillions of years to complete and once the entire universe has been sucked into black holes, they would be purged back into our universe thus recreating the cycle of the universe.

Now I am going to tackle the question of how we got to where we are today. By we, I do mean human beings, and by how we got here, I mean how humans evolved from single cell organisms into walking, breathing, talking organisms. I would begin by just explaining how the cellular evolution came to be, but I decided to start even earlier. I am starting on how those cells even came into existence. Now, we all know that bacterial cells can survive in the vacuum of space in a dormant state, and once it reaches a suitable temperature, they would divide and multiply. We have all seen this with meteors that have had bacterial cultures and started to divide once we brought it back to room temperature. Now, with my theory of how the universe started, matter is sucked into a black hole and stored into subspace until critical mass is reached, then expelled into the universe. Once the matter is sucked into subspace, there would be bacterial cultures on some of that matter. Once it is expelled, those cultures would float around in the universe until it crashes into a planet. If by chance it crashes into a planet with a suitable atmosphere and distance from the sun like Earth, then the bacteria would multiply and start the basis of all life on Earth. Now, while multiplying, the bacteria would be subject to a lot of radiation from the new universe that has just formed. Due to this radiation, mutations in the cells DNA would cause the bacteria to change, causing new dominant traits in the cells, thus evolving the bacteria into new forms. This has been proven, albeit by accident with radioactive mutations in our environment. We have caused mutations in frogs which gave them extra limbs so we know radiation will allow for genetic accidents. With millions of years of constant genetic accidents we would see the evolution of the bacterial cells into multi-celled organisms, and eventually into the accident known as marine life. While those mutations continue to occur, you eventually get a fish that accidentally has lungs instead of gills. With this accident, you would have the first land animals. Those animals would have a mutated form of those original bacteria on them and eventually shed them onto the surface where they would mutate into other forms of animals and plant life and it would continue until today. Basic evolutions in species occur naturally like sabre-tooth tigers loosing their long teeth due to smaller mammals populating the world, and mammoths losing most of their hair so they can survive in more tropical regions. The bigger change is the evolutionary accidents where radioactive mix-ups with DNA cause major shifts in a species, like monkeys into proto humans, and then eventually into man. The evolution of the human species wasn'’t natural, it was actually a cosmic accident where a couple of strands of DNA were changed into something completely different which was also not catastrophic to the new species. Since I am not a scientist, I cannot test this myself but if there is someone out there who can, they can prove my theory by placing several thousand of a species in a controlled environment and subjecting them to various forms of radiation and testing them to see if they evolve into a new form of life. If this is done, this would prove my theory of life on Earth.

Now, as I stated before, I am not a scientist, but my theories do fall in line with all of our current knowledge of the universe and explain how everything came to be. The Universe binges and purges itself through black holes and new species evolution is purely a cosmic accident caused by genetic mutations in our DNA, thus creating a new species.

Thank God I'm Not Cherniak

I used to read Jason's blog daily, but I have only sporadically read his blog over the last few months. Not because I don't like it, but because I am too lazy to get off my couch and go to my compy. I decided to read it again today and the only thing I can say is I am glad my blog is not like his blog. I am soooooo happy that I am still small potatoes in the ol' blogosphere and don't have to deal with the troll(s?) that he has to deal with. He could probably post a comment saying "I like puppies, they are cute" and the trolls will turn it into a crack about Gomery and possibly one about how Paul Martin strangles hookers while feeding babies to rabid dogs.

Well, if I did have the quantity of people on my blog that Jason has, I would run out of insults that I throw out at the trolls for being so fucking retarded. I have a statement for anyone who reads blogs. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE BLOG YOU ARE READING, READ SOMETHING ELSE YOU FUCKTARD!!!!!! If you do decide to read and post comments on the blog anyways, grow a fucking set of testicles and post your fucking name. I know most people who post comments on blogs are either friends of the blogger, or like minded people who agree, or slightly disagree and will give an intellectual rebuttal on how their idea may produce a better result. Nowadays, comments are usually "YOU FUCKING SUCK CHERNIAK, MY GOD YOU ARE DUMB". I still believe Jason should either turn on comment moderation, or remove commenting all together and create a bulletin board so they can complain to their hearts content. Or better still, GET THEIR OWN FUCKING BLOG AND RANT LIKE A FUCKING LUNATIC!!!! You know...like I do.

Anyways, I need a smoke and the Daily Show is on in a couple of minutes.

The Man is Watching Me!!!!

Okay, I keep on getting a reader from The House of Commons and I was wondering who you were. If I have made it all the way to Ottawa for recognition, I want know who you are so I can make the claim that you agree with my views and would support me in the next Liberal Leadership Convention when Stephane Dion retires after 15 years in power.

If it is Stephane, just say hi!!. It is the least you could do since I created the Anyone But Rae or Iggy campaign and got you the leading number of votes in the second ballot. It had nothing to do with your campaign ideas or your strength as a leader....it was all me!!!!

Anyways, just wanted to get that out there and make unsubstantiated claims that I am the greatest political mastermind of all time!!!

Muahahahahahahahaha

Democrats Win Both The House and Senate

As the first blog to create the Anyone but Rae or Iggy campaign, which by the way was so successful that Dion is now leading in second ballot polls, I am going to be the first blog (at least on Liblogs) to declare that the Democrats have won both the House and Senate races in the Midterm Midtacular.

Why is this important you ask....well, this means that the Republicans will now have a scapegoat for the war in Iraq in the 2008 Presidential Elections by blaming it all on the Democrat controlled House and Senate. Way to go Republicans on losing this election!!!! You have now just set yourselves up for a sweep in 2008.

I know I haven't posted much on my innovative Anyone but Rae or Iggy Campaign, but I have been working over the last few days and I bought Final Fantasy 12 so those have taken up much of my time. I will be posting more stuff tomorrow, and I will be posting on Thursday and Friday as well since I have those days off.

Crunch Time in the Liberal Leadership Race

Since I am unable to go to the Liberal Leadership Convention in December....I decided to use my blog to create a movement for all the Liberals that read my blog. My movement is being called the Anyone but Rae or Iggy Campaign. By this, I mean if you support anyone but Bob Rae or Michael Ignatieff, and you do not want them to become leader of the Liberal Party, you should lend Stephane Dion your vote for the second ballot of the Leadership Election. Even if you are supporting one of those two candidates, and you are trailing in the ballots, you should drop your vote, and vote for Stephane.

Stephane Dion is the only real choice for running the Liberal Party for a lot of reasons. He is the longest serving Liberal in the running, he is French and that will help with the Quebec vote, he's not Bob Rae so he will do well in Ontario, he's not Iggy so he will do well with minorities, he has a plan for curbing climate change, and he is a very strong public speaker which will help with bringing down The Harp. I will post more tomorrow about my new initiative, but it is late and I want to go to bed.

Mini Rant Time

I haven't posted in a while so I am going to do a mini rant of current events to catch me back up.

1. Closed, the new open!!!- Political watchdog groups are getting rather pissed off at the Cons version of an open government. Their idea of an open government is to not give out any info or if they have to. Here is an excerpt:
"Mike Wallace, a Conservative MP who's on the all-party ethics committee, has called on the justice minister to table a new bill by December. He said he has yet to hear back from the justice minister.
To which the justice minister replied "Information regarding a new bill to overhaul the access to information act will take 60,000 man-hours to find and would cost Mr. Wallace 4.3 trillion dollars.

2. Pound O'Dope- Dick Pound, Chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency is now saying that Canada is filled with Doped up athletes. He is saying that we are harbouring Athletes from around the world that are using performance-enhancing drugs. Now, as far as I know, the only person that has moved to Canada for work because he was banned from playing in the US for Drug-Use is Ricky Williams. I know Canada has a smaller population than the US, but one person still doesn't classify Canada as a Drug Refuge.

3. Nobody Cares What You Think!!!- Now we all know that climate change is real and the Cons won't do anything about it...but what the hell is Jack Layton thinking threatening a non-confidence vote right now. Everyone in the world knows that the Liberals are in the middle of a leadership election and will vote down any non-confidence motions. Also, it hasn't even been one year since the last election and whoever tables a non-confidence vote will get punished at the polls because they made everyone get out and vote so early. Layton is purely grandstanding and should be completely ignored for the rest of his natural life!

4. Screw You Injins!!!- This is the Cons official response to the stalemate in Caledonia. Jim Prentice has cancelled the scheduled meeting between the feds, the province and the First Nations group claming the land in Caledonia. Since land claims are a federal issue, the federal government should be fronting the bill to settle the claim and should be doing the negotiations. Since the stalemate began in February, the feds have done nothing at all. The only people that have been doing anything is the provincial government, and the province is trying to get the feds to pay up for all the resources it has put into settling it. So the Cons responded with the standard, screw you guys, I'm going home response that they love to do.

I was going to post more, but I am tired and I want to go to bed.