Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Who else is not Canadian

As pretty much everyone knows, the Cons have come up with new attack ads. My first thought was shouldn't the governing party try to solve the major economic problems that are affecting people all across Canada instead of ads dissing their eventual replacement. Then I realized that they are the Cons and not the Tories and everything started to make sense.

Then another question popped into my head, if Michael Ignatieff is not Canadian because he spent 30+ years traveling the world, living a life most people only dream of, getting some of the most prestigious jobs ever, then who else is not Canadian. Lets take a look at some evil terrorist non-Canadians that are here to destroy the country.

1. Celine Dion: Well, this one was a tough one because a good chunk of Canadians don't want to acknowledge the fact she was born in Canada, but that evil bitch took a job in Las Vegas, the most evil place in America. So why haven't we formed a lynch mob with pitchforks and torches and hunted her down yet?

2. Martin Short: This "Funny Man" left his job and home in Canada and moved down to that third layer of hell known as Hollywood. This demonic terrorist has spent over 20 years in hell laughing it up with some of the most elitist bastards in all the world.

3. Wayne Gretzky: He should be public enemy number one for the crap he has pulled. Not only did he leave Canada to move to the US, but he did it to play Canada's national sport. That should be a slap in the face to all Canadians. Then it gets even worse, this self-centred egotistical bastard then went into coaching. So where did he decide to do all of his coaching, well Phoenix Arizona that's where. What, Canada wasn't good enough for you Wayne. Then he had a chance for redemption. Jim Balsillie wants to buy the Phoenix Coyotes and move them to Hamilton. Now a true Canadian would support the chance to return home to his country but what does he do, he publicly states that he wants to stay in America and is against moving Canada's national sport back home as well.

4. Marc Garneau: Well he is not as bad as OsamaWayne Al-Gretzky, and I am still not sure what to call him. This Non-Canadian did not only leave Canada, he had the Gall to even leave the Planet Earth. Does this mean that he is no longer human, because humans don't leave the Planet Earth. So this Evil Alien Terrorist hated Canada so much, he would rather go to a place with no oxygen, and enough radiation to kill then live in the greatest nation ever.

These people should be ashamed of themselves. We should also put them on terrorist watch lists, just so they can get what is coming to them for being so non-Canadian.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

With all due respect, if Wayne Gretzky was coming back to Canada to be a Conservative Prime Minister, everything you said about Gretzky would be bang on accurate of what would be said if he returned to Canada to be a Conservative.

Think about that for a second.

How would you liberals handle Wayne Gretzky coming back to Canada after 20 years to become a Conservative P.M.

When you look at it like that, you can only imagine the hatred that Gretzky would get from people like you and your fellow libloggers.

Anonymous said...

If Iggy wasn't given the Liberal leadership and tempted with Canada's big job, would he have come back at all?
I think we all know the answer is no.

Kirbycairo said...

Anonymous is simply wrong. If Gretzky did return people would greet him with adoration bordering on idolatry. And no one, liberals or otherwise would have the temerity to question his patriotism lest they be publicly flogged. As for the second comment above, it is also wrong. However, it is largely irrelevant. Ignatieff, unlike Harper, enriches all of us with his important philosophical work wherever he happens to be living. Furthermore, like many cosmopolitan individuals, Mr. Ignatieff's work and contribution to society is important to all, within our boarders and without. Gandhi, the great hero of the Indian nation lived many years beyond the boarders of India.

Anonymous said...

So you're saying you don't have a problem with Canada being used as a hotel?

ian said...

Getzky was sold to LA Kings.
Sort of like transferred by his employer.
The other individuals do not presume to speak for Canadians
In some ways your argument supports the elimination of the CBC.We do not need to promote Canadian content?

Anonymous said...

Ignatieff’s arrogance is galling. He really thinks that, even though Canada was never interesting enough for him, we’re going to forget everything he said and did while he was gone. Fat chance. Canadians are going to remember that he said our flag was like a beer label. We’re going to remember that he said Quebeckers live in a fantasy. Despite his claims now that he’s running for Prime Minister, Canadians at least deserve an explanation for the things he’s said in the past.
-tony